“Recently, I saw a cartoon that was significant: a man was examining the fender on his car. His wife asked, ‘How is it that you can remember every dent and notice new ones, but never remember my birthday or notice my new hairdo?’ Many women could shout ‘Amen!’
No one expects to become proficient in anything without practice and effort. Why do we expect wonderful marriages to just happen? Marriage takes a lifetime of effort to keep it fresh and inviting.
The single greatest way to end the honeymoon experience in marriage is to stop dating your mate. The excitement that couples have before marriage can be a lifetime experience if they keep dating.”
– Dr. Wemp
Feelings Follow Actions
Try to remember what acts—big or small—you used to do for each other when you were in the “love-sick-puppy” stage of your relationship. How can you start to implement those into your daily routines, once again? Men, what used to make your wife’s eyes sparkle or get a grin to spread across her face? Do it again! Women, what did you do before marriage that made your husband so excited to spend time with you that he could hardly contain himself?
Tony Campolo says that after he had been married several years, he thought some of the romance that he experienced early in his marriage had diminished. So he decided to do ten loving things a day for his wife. He reported that after several weeks, “I found my romantic feelings for her rekindled...I learned that if I do loving things for my wife, then I will feel loving feelings.”
Keeping romantic feelings alive in marriage means continuing the actions that go with the feelings! Below are some dating ideas. See how many you can do this month!
- Buy some sparkling grape juice and cheese and crackers and have a late-night candlelight snack together.
- Phone your spouse at work or home just to say “I love you.”
- Hide a love note underneath your spouse’s pillow or someplace where he/she will be sure to find it.
- Write a love poem. It doesn’t have to be long, just say “You’re wonderful!”
- Plan a good back rub…or foot rub!
- Plan a night out for the two of you without your spouse knowing. Arrange for babysitting.
- Schedule a day to help your spouse with a job he or she dislikes.
- Get out the wedding and family albums to page through together.
Do you do any of these? Comment below with any of your favorite date stories or dating rituals with your spouse.