Recently, I read about the transgressions that occurred within the Duggar family—the famous “19 Kids and Counting” TV family on TLC. Let me start by saying, sexual abuse is wrong, unacceptable and should never be taken lightly. This story is sad on many levels. Obviously, it is sad for the young girls who experienced the abuse, as they have had to live with the emotional and psychological trauma that stems from being a victim of sexual abuse. The other thing I find sad is that here is a mature, godly family featured as an amazing example of wholesome family life, who is now stigmatized by sexual indiscretion.
Sexual abuse is rampant, and we can clearly see that no one group is completely immune from it. As I understand it, the Duggar incidents happened many years ago. I hate when such hurtful things occur, and I never take it dismissively when people are sexually abused, but I also have compassion on families that have to deal with such things. I even have empathy for the people who do the abusing, as they are a slave to a drive that they don’t know how to manage.
I know nothing more about the Duggar incident other than what the news reports have said. I will not throw any spears at them. As my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, all I can do is pray for them and hope their journey to healing is, or was, productive at getting to the root issues.
What Are Root Issues?
Victory over addictive sexual compulsions is a process I call aligning the heart. The transformation comes when we trace our out-of-line behaviors from the fruit (the current circumstance) to the root (the underlying cause). In every case, sexual dependency is driven by something out of line within the heart—emotional woundedness, low self-worth, anger, resentment, fear, shame, rejection, and a host of other issues, including father and mother wounds. Sometimes the issue is created when a doorway to lust is opened, and one is unsuccessful at closing it.
When I talk about heart issues, I am referring to them in contrast to what I call behavior modification. Changing behavior is good, but when all you do is put bandages on surface problems, as in, behavior modification without heart transformation, you only put a mask on the real problem. For decades, even centuries, people have tried to fight sexual addiction with bandages on the surface, but God offers more hope. John 8:32 says, “You will know the truth and the truth will set you free!”
How Do You Tap into This Truth and Obtain Sexual Freedom?
If you are struggling with a sexual addiction, I would like to encourage you to get the help you need. You don’t have to be a slave to your sexual physiology. There is a way out—freedom is possible!
You now know that your sexual addiction is connected to emotional issues, but how do you effectively deal with those issues? If fear or shame is keeping you from reaching out to others for help, allow me to serve as a springboard. I have written extensively on the subject and would love to help you get started on your journey toward sexual freedom.
You can read the first chapter of my book, To Kill a Lion: Transforming Your Life Through Sexual Freedom by going to my website BruceLengeman.com.
My God bless you on your journey to both sexual freedom and life transformation!
I pray for a total family-recovery for the Duggars! My hope is that people will find sexual healing and health before their life is destroyed, before they destroy others, or before they are stigmatized!